I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
