a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
