Me too!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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