his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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