hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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