Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
