Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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