What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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