she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
