come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
