me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the day after is always just damage control
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
