Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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