Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
