I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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