Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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