Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
