...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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