Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
