The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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