I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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