i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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