Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
