can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
