Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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