the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
