i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
As shirtless as possible
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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