Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
