I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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