Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
