porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
