Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
