and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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