You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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