I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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