yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
