I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
