i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
where are my eyebrows?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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