I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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