i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
