we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
