You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
