just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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