I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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