so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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