When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
