He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
