Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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