Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
