I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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