i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
