yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
