do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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