dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
